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Besides setting up a killer profile, you need to have some great online dating openers ready to intrigue her. During my 100-date experiment, I analyzed thousands of dating profiles. When you deliver awesome opening lines for online dating sites and apps, your chances of connecting with quality women increase greatly. A recent study found that writing great messages was the biggest source of stress when it comes to dating apps. These 12 Tinder first message examples are a great way to start the conversation. But to get the best possible results you need to figure out which of them work best for you. A lot of factors are at play.

Dating message tips: you might not think you need them, but then… you filled out your online dating profile. You took the perfect profile pictures. You searched for potential matches and even found some that caught your eye. But that was just the beginning, the question remains… What should you say to them?

Composing a message is one of the hardest parts of online dating. Should you pay them a compliment, or is that too forward? Should you use a pick-up line, or keep it simple? You want to catch their eye and stand out, but you don’t want it to seem like you’re trying too hard. Well, fear not, because we can help. Here are some online dating message tips to help you write something that has a high chance of getting a response…

Dating Message Tips from the Experts

1. Start with “hi,” but give it a spin.
When you meet somebody in real life, chances are you do two things: say hello and tell them your name. So why not employ the same greeting tactic online? Saying hi and introducing yourself is polite, easy, and effective—and you’d be surprised by how few people actually do it in their online dating messages. But instead of just saying “hi,” “hey,” or “hello” like everybody else does, make things interesting.

Examples:
-How’s it going? I’m Elizabeth.
-Fancy meeting you here. I’m Elizabeth.
-Hola, bonjour, ciao, guten tag, hello. I’m Elizabeth.
-Come here often? I’m Elizabeth.
-Oh, hey, I didn’t see you there. I’m Elizabeth.

2. Comment on their profile.
Commenting on someone’s online dating profile shows that you actually read it and that you’re a good listener. When you meet a new person online, it can be tempting to compliment their looks. And while physical compliments are nice, they can sometimes be, well, empty. Most people would rather receive a compliment about something they wrote in their profile. Bonus points if you add a little information about yourself. It keeps the conversation going and gives them something to respond to.

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Examples:
-I see that you like to cook. I’m trying to be better at cooking myself. I made a great vegetarian lasagna a few nights ago.
-I like that you’re into sports. My favorite is baseball. I’m a lifelong Yankees fan.
-Your dog is very cute. I’m a dog person too. I have an Australian Cattle Dog named Wülf.
-I have some friends who went to Cornell. I wonder if we have any friends in common.
-I enjoy going to museums too. I enjoyed the Stephen Shore exhibit at the MoMA.

3. Ask a question.
Asking questions is one of the most important dating message tips we can give. One of the best ways to start a conversation is by asking a question. Again, it gives them something to respond to. Even better if this can also relate to something they wrote in their profile.

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Examples:

-What’s your favorite dish to cook?
-Where were your profile pictures taken?
-What’s it like being a surgeon?
-Have you read any good books lately?
-What’s your favorite hidden gem in your neighborhood?

4. Cut to the chase.
Be honest and say what you feel. That doesn’t mean you have to be overly forward or aggressive; it means that if you’re interested in somebody, it’s ok to be clear about it. After all, isn’t that what you signed up for when you joined an online dating site?

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Examples:

-Your profile made me smile.
-I’d like to get to know you better.
-Based on your profile, I think we’d hit it off.
-I’m interested in learning more about you.
-I think we make a great pair.

5. Suggest meeting for a date.
Is it bold? Yes. Is it risky? Maybe. Is it effective? You bet. One of the biggest complaints about online dating is that people spend too much time messaging and not enough time actually dating. It’s gutsy to ask someone out right away, but it sends the message that you’re serious about your level of interest. Be bold! And have a plan. Are you free? doesn’t give someone much to respond to. But Are you free for coffee on Thursday? does.

Examples:

-I’d like to meet for a drink sometime if you’re interested.
-Are you free for a date soon?
-Let’s grab coffee sometime next week.
-Want to have dinner on Tuesday?
-Let me know if you want to go for a walk in Central Park.

There you have it: some examples for constructing the perfect online dating message. Hopefully someo of these dating message tips will help you bag that next date. Remember to leep it short, simple, and polite, and you’ll be getting replies in no time.

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Attractive women on Tinder don’t lack for choice. They can be uber selective when it comes to responding to first messages from interested guys.

The good news is you have a match you want to start a conversation with. The bad news is lame icebreakers like “Hey” aren’t going to cut it, and neither is “Hi, how are you doing?”

That’s probably why you’re looking for Tinder first message examples, right?

You’re about to get 12 examples that even the hottest local women won’t be able to resist.

You’ll also get some expert tips on what makes each icebreaker effective, so you can try your hand at writing some of your own!

Creativity In A First Message Gets You Noticed

… and boring gets you an empty inbox.

Your opening message is her first impression of you.

Tinder First Message Example #1:

If you don’t make a good one right out of the gate, she’s got zero incentive to believe things will improve if she decides to start a conversation with you by responding.

But when you ask her an imaginative question that’s actually fun to answer, the odds are much higher she’ll take the time to respond.

Tinder First Message Example #2:

Tinder First Message Example #3:

See why those Tinder conversation topics instantly stand out in an inbox that looks something like this?

On average, women in their 20s-30s log on to dating apps around 10 times a day, spending just under 8 minutes per session.

If your first message doesn’t immediately command her attention, you’re most likely going to get lost in the shuffle with all the other lame pick-up lines she gets on the daily.

The Art Of The Compliment

Tinder First Message Example #4:

You’ve probably learned the hard way messages starting a conversation with “Hey baby, nice [fill in the blank]” don’t work very well.

Attractive women generally know they’re attractive. They don’t need yet another guy pointing it out on Tinder.

Pairing a low-key compliment with an unexpected, funny question like in the example above is one way to go.

Or if she has a photo of her dog or cat in her lineup, you can give your message a surprising twist by focusing on her pet’s good looks, rather than hers.

Tinder First Message Example #5:

Or simply let her know your interest runs deeper than just her physical appearance. Invite her to share a story or something else about herself with you.

Here are 3 great questions you can send as a first message on Tinder:

The human brain is wired in such a way that it literally feels good to talk about yourself. So put science to work for you on Tinder!

When responding to your message makes her feel good, you’re that much closer to getting her number or a date.

GIFs Are Your Tinder Superpower

Few women are immune to the charms of an adorable puppy. Use that to your advantage on Tinder!

Simply pair a GIF of a puppy waving hello with your favorite Tinder icebreaker, and you’re golden.

With so many GIFs to choose from, it's easy to find one that ties in with your conversation starter.

And here's the real advantage of using a GIF to start a conversation:

If Tinder's internal data is to be believed, she's 30% more likely to respond to your message when it includes an animated element.

Here are 3 dynamite pairings:

GIFs are also a great way to revive a conversation that stalled, or to send as a playful follow up if she didn’t respond to your first Tinder message.

Some GIFs instantly convey your meaning, no message required:

Or you can pair a funny “reminder” message like this one with a superhero GIF:

Messages that make her smile are ideal in these situations. Showing off your sense of humor is one of the best ways to spark a connection.

Women are naturally attracted to guys they find funny, so making her laugh is a point in your favor.

If she doesn’t respond to your second message, it’s generally best to let it go.

If you’re *really* into her, send a third. But sending any more than that is a bad idea, since it puts you firmly into desperation territory.

Better to move on gracefully than force her to block you.

3 Common Mistakes That Will Sabotage Your Tinder Convo

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Mistake #1: Not Keeping Up On The App

The last thing you want to do is send one of these great opening lines, then not check Tinder again for a few days.

If you got a response, you've likely already shot yourself in the foot.

Some studies have found that 93% of women only swipe right on the profiles they're attracted to. What better way to extinguish that spark than taking days to hold up your end of the conversation?

Considering you messaged her to begin with… that's not a great look.

It will be exponentially harder to climb out of the hole you just dug and convince her you're worthy of meeting in person.

That notion of not responding right away so you don't appear over eager are gone.

So when should you respond to a message on Tinder?

These days, 89% of singles respond to a message on a dating app within 12 hours if they're interested – and that's a good rule of thumb to keep in mind.

If she's swiping on Tinder to find a relationship, showing that you're making yourself available and engaged in the process is a sure way to impress her.

Mistake #2: Not Asking A Question In Each Message

This is hands down the easiest way to keep a conversation going on Tinder, or any other dating app.

Your questions provide the direction – all she needs to do is answer you.

When you don't ask a question, you risk creating the equivalent of that awkward pause when neither person knows what to say next.

And the more she gets stuck on how to respond, the higher the risk that she won't.

It's good to have a couple of go-to questions mentally filed away that you can use in a pinch, because you won't find inspiration in every person's profile.

If you need some ideas, check out these great questions to ask a girl you like on Tinder.

Asking fun, creative questions is essential. 83% of singles agree that having a great conversation on a dating app can lead to better real life conversations.

First dates are stressful enough all ready, so anything you can do to boost your odds for success is worth the time, right?

Mistake #3: Not Paying Attention To Spell Check

Net speak and abbreviations are one thing, but outright misspellings and repeated grammar errors are an almost sure-fire way to turn her off.

And if you make mistakes in your messages repeatedly, she may decide she's not that interested in continuing the conversation in person.

It only takes a few seconds to proofread what you've written before tapping send.

The Easiest Way To Conquer Tinder

A recent study found that writing great messages was the biggest source of stress when it comes to dating apps.

These 12 Tinder first message examples are a great way to start the conversation. But to get the best possible results you need to figure out which of them work best for you.

A lot of factors are at play. Your Tinder pictures and bio have a huge impact, but there’s also the age of your matches to take into consideration.

A message that works for an early 20s college girl may induce an eye roll in a late 20s professional who’s looking for something more serious.

You can meticulously track each message you send and whether or not it worked, and adjust your strategy accordingly.

This simple worksheet will help calculate your response rate.

Or you can skip past the time consuming part, and just go on dates with high-quality women instead. VIDA’s team of Tinder experts will do everything for you, from choosing your most attractive photos to writing an attention-getting bio.

Our professional writers will even handle all the messaging! We’ve been outsourcing Tinder for guys like you since 2009, so we know what works – and what doesn’t.

Why waste all that time figuring it out for yourself, when you could be going on dates with attractive, intelligent women instead?

Click here to get started!

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